Ramblings of a Grouch

Back in September last year I noticed a small problemette with this blog.  Well, not so small, really.

Fact was, I couldn't access it.  Not just barred from the Admin side, but barred from everywhere.  (I still wonder how the spammers got to send their comments).  At the time I was in the middle of 18 months of hell.  Heavy workload coupled with family illness and worse.  Not a time for blogging and so I filed the thought in the 'Later' cabinet and got on with life.

Then last week I got a couple of reports of more spam comments and so I thought I'd better do something about it.

Now, the guy who looks after the technical backroom stuff is my best virtual (and probably real-world) mate, the sort I can have a laugh with, be serious with, take the piss out of and ask advice from.  Yet I didn't want to bother him with this problem as I know he has a life of his own other than being bothered by a lapsed blogger who hasn't written anything for 18 months or so.

Anyway, I eventually emailed him with my problem.  Did he care?  Did he tell me he was busy?  Did he promise to check it out sometime?  Hell, no!!  He only went and backed up the whole lot, upgraded the blog and got everything back looking better than before (this theme is much cleaner and fresher than the one I originally chose).  All within 24 hours of screaming for help.  Where else would I get a better response than that?

So thanks for sorting out my self-induced problem, Bill.  I really appreciate it, mate.

And I promise to be more regular in future ;-)

(I would say it's been a pleasure to be serviced by you, but that might get misconstrued)

Wow - it's that time of year again, and I almost missed it!

My Aussie mate, Bill, has another birthday today. He had one last year - anyone would think he actually wanted to grow older.

Anyhow, what with decorating and having my roof repaired, I clean forgot that today was his Big Day. I see it's around 10.30 pm over there so I've still got time to send a virtual pressie.

And here it is. I know Bill enjoys biking. And I know he enjoys playing with goats. So what better than a smart biking shirt with extra usefulness?

Hope you had a great day, Bill!!

And hope you recover from it sometime tomorrow ;.)

A dog nearly ran into me the other day.

The scene: 5.30 pm. Dark, cold, wet. End of a long day at work. Much traffic on the way home. Turning into the end of my street, big Mercedes and Range Rovers parked on the corner (handy for the Mason's lodge) so 12" either side of my car as I squeezed round the corner in first gear.

Changing up into second gear when WAP!!, a dog the size of a small pony leaped out in front of me from behind a parked car. I'd seen that dog before - very nice animal (something like a pale German Shepherd or a dark Husky) but rather alarming when announcing its presence in this way. I slammed my foot on the brake but, with my clutch already pushed down and half way through a gear change, I managed to rev the engine at the same time.

So startled (but unhurt) dog takes off up the street zig-zagging from road to path and back again. I followed it, parked outside my house and got out to check it was OK. At this point the four people with the dog approached me.

"Excuse me, but are you the man who hit our dog?"

"No, I'm the man whose car your dog jumped in front of. You should keep it on a lead."

"It's a trained dog."

"It's not very well trained if it runs round in the middle of the road in front of cars"

"It's a f**king trained dog!"

"No it isn't, and don't swear."

"I'll f**king swear at you if I want - you hit out f**king dog."

"OK, have it your way, but I'm going to see if your dog is alright."

"It had better f**king be."

So I found the dog running about on the grass round the corner, having the time of its life.

"So, is it alright?"

"Does it f**king look alright?"

"Er, yes, it does."

"Look at its legs!"

"What about them?" I counted 4, which seemed about right.

"Well, look at them."

"I am looking. What's wrong with them?"

"I don't know. I'm not a f**king doctor."

Then they started calling their mates on their mobile phones and discussing what they were doing the next day. I was completely ignored. So I went home, reported to the police that I had not hit a dog and had my tea.

Then I thought about it. The four people with the dog were 13 or 14 years old. They knew no one would come out and tell them to shut their foul mouths up. They knew I wouldn't smack them round the ear else I would get arrested. They knew their dog was fine yet still ranted on as if I had murdered it (probably hoping I would stump up the cash for vet's fees). And be honest, who among us older than 30 would dare to speak to adults in that manner when we were their age?

I'm glad the dog was OK in the end. But if one of those kids runs out in front of me, I may just miss the brake pedal and hit the gas. I don't think I have to report running over a piece of scum to the police ...

I usually ask myself this question at this time of year. What's it all about?

Well, Xmas, obviously. The season of excess, when people start to show their true (and often not very welcome) feelings.

I hoped the one good thing to come out of the 2009 recession is for people to scale down the material side of Xmas and concentrate on the other things in life. But so far I'm not seeing it. "I want this. I want that. I must buy this for so-and-so." And all these things are not inexpensive items. Xmas has become a time to show true greed, to show the side of us that says 'I'm giving something expensive so I must be a better person'.

Rubbish!

Maybe I am a true Grouch. We decided not to do presents this year. Almost. Earlier in the year we treated ourselves to a new TV. We watch little TV but we invested in a flat screen HD unit, partly because the old set would need replacing when the UK switches to digital in 2012. And I got a deal on a posh hotel for a couple of nights after the big day just to get away from it all - walking in parks, exploring towns we have never visited, chilling out.

(Birthdays are a little different - we tend to push the boat out and get things neither of us would normally buy or oourselves - last year my nearly-wife got a laptop, I got to drive a Lamborghini).

But Xmas is the time for mass hysteria. The stores are closed for one day this year. At the local Asda, just round the corner, the car park has been jammed solid since Monday morning, traffic tailing back right along the entrance lane, out onto the road and back to God knows where. The 24 hour opening has been shrunk to 22 hours to allow the shelves to be re-stocked.

I walk round at work and hear people saying 'I asked for this, I asked for that, I spent £200 on food yesterday and still haven't finished, I want to win in the works raffle.' (Incidentally, I won a bottle of wine. I don't drink. I gave it to the young lady in the office whose mother will love it.)

And the nicest thing about Xmas for me up to now? My best mate, Bill, rang me out of the blue. At 5.30 am on Monday. To wish me a happy Xmas. Bill lives in Australia and we have never met, but he's a great character, we have some great laughs in an online forum, we can talk seriously if we need to and I would trust him with anything. Everything a best mate should be.

And there he was on the end of the phone, wishing me a happy holiday. Telling me what he plans to do on the 25th. Just saying 'Hi, I'm here and I remembered you'.

What a fantastic start to the week! And I ask, isn't that what Xmas is really all about?

Have a great day, Bill, and enjoy the barbie!

And Happy Holidays and a Happy 2010 to all

The other week my computer died. Saturday evening it worked, Sunday morning it didn't. Nothing. The light came on, the fans whirred. And nothing happened. For someone who spends a fair amount of time helping others with their computer problems this was a blow. But by the following Thursday evening it was all running sweetly again.

Happy ending to a short story? Well no, if I consider the hoops I had to jump through to get there.

I diagnosed the motherboard was the problem, so I set out to order a new one online (fortunately my spare system was connected). So it was off to my favourite online dealer. Found a new board at a reasonable price and popped it in my shopping basket.

But my processor wouldn't fit the new board (it's rather old), so I searched out a new one. In the basket it went.

Oh, and I needed some more modern memory, so that went into the basket of another online dealer. That was fine but the pennies were starting to add up now.

While I was at it I also popped a new power supply in the (now rather heavy) basket as the original one had a rather noisy fan. And that was it. All I needed to do was pay up and wait for the postman.

Yeah, right. Before I made my purchase I needed to log in. Email address? Fine. Password? On the dead computer. Bother!! Enter email address and request a password reset.

Message arrives with a link to the password reset screen, which I go to. "This link has expired. It is only valid for 24 hours". What??! Less than 3 minutes had gone by and it had expired. So I rang Customer Service.

"We're closed at the moment due to the Bank Holiday. Please try again tomorrow". What Bank Holiday? The last one was over 5 weeks ago. So I used my head. I created a new account.

And that worked fine until I selected the delivery address. As this was my first purchase (it wasn't) then delivery could only be made to the credit card holder's address. Which meant I would be out when it arrived. And sure enough, I arrived home at 2 minutes to 6 and UPS had called at 7 minutes to 6. And UPS wouldn't redirect. Aaaarggghhhh!!

As luck would have it the parcel was delivered the next day while I was in, so all ended happily.

And the fact that the new power supply looked like it came out of a nuclear power station of the future - stove enamelled case, mesh round the leads for protection, top quality power connectors (about 30 of them) - is neither here nor there. It works silently. So I'm happy.

And next time I'll make sure I know my password before I order.