Ramblings of a Grouch

... for my mate Bill.

Yes, it's that time again when a man's thoughts turn to pondering life, the universe and everything. Or in Bill's case, probably having a small glass of wine.

Which rather neatly brings me to the Virtual Gift. Ever since Bill sent me a jewel-encrusted pot of Vaseline for a present I have tried (and failed) to outdo him. So I thought this year's Virtual Present should be something to blend in with his character and lifestyle.

So have a Great Day today, Bill, and here's to beer and sheep wherever they may be! (Hiding, if they have any sense!)

.

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Cheers!!

D.I.M.

Done It Myself

Done. Finished. Finito. Fin.

OK, so it took 11 months, with a longish break in the middle. But I did it. I surprised myself when I realised each problem just took a little bit of thought (and sometimes a new tool) to overcome. And now my feet ache, my shoulders ache and my hands are rough and dry. My dining room is full of tools, tubs of paste, cement, plaster, filler and paint. And dust.

But now I know that whatever project I do next, I can do it.

And this evening I'm doing bugger all.

Because I'm finished.

So, we got the worktop cut out one sunny Saturday morning. Zip, Zip, ends cut to length with the circular saw. Whizz, Whizz, holes drilled in the corners of the cutout. Buzz, Buzz with the jigsaw. Sniff, sniff - something's burning. A new (straight) blade sorted that out, and the scorch marks don't show. Maybe the pitch was too fine, maybe I applied too much pressure. Definitely the edges were anything but straight.

On to the moment of truth - does the sink unit fit? Yes!! Do a little dance, remove sink unit, replace it. It still fits. Clear up and make a mental note to apologise to next door neighbour, who had just hung the washing out to dry. Have you any idea just how much sawdust a power tool produces?

Over the next few days I part-tiled the areas to the sides of the new sink units. I sealed the edges of the worktop with silicon. I sealed the sink into place. I installed a new cable for an extra power socket. And I got pissed off with myself. Admittedly, all these things needed doing, but if the truth were told, I was stalling. I knew that once I had the old unit out I had to finish the job else I would have no water in the kitchen and only cold in the bathroom. I was terrified.

So last Friday I decided that I was starting that evening no matter what. And I did. The old pipes were disconnected, the old sink thrown out in the yard and the old cupboards dumped. I laid floor tiles in the empty space. And I went to bed.

Up again at 3.30 am to check everything was sealed OK, grouted the tiles and returned to bed.

Saturday morning - start marking off where the new cupboards will go and where to cut the pipes. Saturday evening - new units in, sink in, all pipes connected, new tap fitted, isolation valves fitted to hot and cold supplies. Hard work, yes, but everything went smoothly and I only had a slight weep in the cold supply pipe to fix up on Sunday.

And it looks fantastic! OK, it may not be professional and it still needs finishing off,. But after 25 years of the same old sink, and what seems like 25 years of worrying about the job it is absolutely fantastic!!

I've found all through this project that whenever I wasn't sure about some task or another, the best way to find out was to do a little thinking and then get in there and have a go. And that applied to the sink, too. If I had a little more faith in myself then it would have been done a lot sooner. I'll know for next time.

Oh, and the first time I used my shiny new sink I wiped it carefully with a cloth. Then I dried it with a towel. And didn't use it again until the next day.

Sink Unit - Friday Night

Sink Unit - Saturday Night

I spent the weekend pottering about the kitchen doing a bit of tiling here, new light switch and power socket there. I got a very posh light switch - slimline, black nickel plate finish. Wired it up, screwed it in, blew the fuse. Changed it for a plain white plastic monstrosity, replaced the fuse and it worked perfectly. Go figure.

Anyway, I realised all this faffing about was merely putting off the next stage, which I wasn't looking forward to - marking out the worktop for the sink unit. Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to actually doing the job, it's just the fear of getting it in the wrong place. It's very difficult to line up 2 cupboards, a worktop and a sink unit when the existing ones are still in place. Nevertheless, it had to be done.

So it got done. The old saying is "measure twice, cut once". I measured 4 or 5 times. And I'm still inclined to cut a dummy worktop out of wallpaper just to be sure.

By the next installment the new sink will be in place.

Or else I will have thrown it through my new window ...

Woohoo!! New windows and doors installed!

Daryl from Belvoir Windows rang 9.15 pm Friday asking if his team could start the job Saturday. 9.30 am Saturday saw the van arrive. 4.45pm Saturday the job was done. Fantastic! And they didn't skimp on the quality, either. I have windows that open without the frame splitting. I have doors that would keep Genghis Khan out. And my house is cleaner than when they started.

Inside the front door is finished off with wood panelling and a moulded architrave (or whatever it's called). I can tile beneath the back door. The bedroom window opens far enough to allow me to clean out the gutter should it get blocked again. And I can get on with finishing the kitchen.

Except not today. When I stand around too much my feet give in (old injury). And yesterday I spent so much time watching how the professionals do it (answer - with a crowbar and a bloody great hammer) that I can barely walk today.

But I don't care. I've got new windows!